also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
