i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i already hear my dad disowning me
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So much rum. So many feels.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize