never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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