I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
