Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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