I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
