You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
