I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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