Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
