Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
