We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
