is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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