I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
