What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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