He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
