WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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