There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize