They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
