There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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