Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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