You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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