thus making me awesome and them whores
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
