Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
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