So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
