it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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