But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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