she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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