I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I had to cum in my sink.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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