I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
