he thought i was a dude.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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