Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
