So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Be still, my beating vagina.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize