so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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