omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
