and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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