Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
