You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
