Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Randomize
