Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
