I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
