"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
