he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
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