I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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