Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
