Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
