His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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