i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
