We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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