I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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