he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
