I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
