i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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