To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize