we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
