Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
and she was petting her beer can
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
