he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
