So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Success! We fucked roommates!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
