Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize