Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
