i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize