After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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