I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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