I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
