Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
