You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize