This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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