if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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