btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
