Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
