I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
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