where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
