Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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