hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
